Bonjour! I had adventures in less than 24 hours and decided the world needed to know. Quick update: I'm currently in Angers, France until June. I'm living with a host family. Also my French is sub-par at best. Moving on:
My plane landed in Paris at 10 in the morning. I had to jog across an entire airport to reach the train station. From there, everything went to hell in a way only I could make happen.

Adventure #1 (Arrival): I really had to find a bathroom at the train station and finally saw one. So me and 100 lbs of luggage made our way through the crowds where an African man on a bench proceeded to yell something at me while I simply tried to enter the men's room. In rapid French he said many many things until finally I understood "Deux Euros! Deux Euros!" Now the smallest amount I had was 5 Euros. When given this amount the man proceeded to yell "Beaucoup! Beacoup!" I stared at him quizzically until he finally brought back 5 Euros in coins. He then drops all of them on a table and stared me down. I picked up 3 Euro, not realizing the 3 coins I picked up were actually 6 Euro and the man began his tirade again. Eventually it was all sorted out and I found my way into the worst smelling bathroom in the world.

Adventure #2 (The Host Family): At some point I wound up getting off the bullet train in Angers. My host mom was there to greet me and drive me home. She drives like a maniac. Everyone here does. I'm talking 55mph around a curve into an alley with no idea that brakes exist. All the while she is firing off French at me with the most absurd questions while I am hanging on for dear life. Thankfully we arrived safe and sound at her flat where I met her son Charles (a 24 y/o student at Rennes who comes home every weekend). Charles enjoys messing with my head. He has tried to convince me that the French hate the internet because Americans invented it, that French people shower 1-2 times a week (we'll get to the showers), that if I don't start drinking wine immediately I will never fit in, and that he loves Rick Santorum. Charles is hysterical.

Adventure #3 (The Shower): European showers are freaking weird. You don't even know unless you've been here. They consist of a box, a nozzle on a hose, and a bizarre curtain that stops zero water from leaving the shower. When I first get in, I think this will work American style. FALSE. The shower nozzle sits on a hook in the shower that aims directly at a tilted wall that is at the perfect angle to project water all over the bathroom. Literally, everywhere was water. The little shower box overflowed. It was probably my worst moment as a guest ever. I have now discovered the correct way to shower is turn water on, rinse body, turn water off, soap and shampoo body, turn water on, rinse body, turn water off. The more you know.

Adventure #4 (The Socket): I decided that I would be really clever in France. Of course I realize all of Europe has different electrical sockets, but instead of buying 6 adapters I thought "Hey, one adapter and a surge suppressor!" Wrong. I forgot about how power works. Anyways, I plugged in the adapter and surge suppressor. As soon as I hit on, sparks everywhere! I managed to blow a socket in less than a day of being here. Don't tell my host mom.

Adventure #5 (Lunch): We all sat down today to eat lunch together on Sunday. First course: Bread with a very delicious beet salad. I made it through fine, never having eaten beets before and wound up eating 3 helpings so as not to offend. I didn't realize what was coming though. Second course: Brussels sprouts and some weird meat. My host mother is a wonderful lady. Who is trying to make me very fat. Charles told me so. She piled my plate up with food. I don't particularly enjoy Brussels sprouts but I powered through the 25 she put on my plate. I noticed while I was eating that she had made herself mashed potatoes. I suspect malicious intent. After forcing myself to finish the plate, she brings out a plate of cheese. She chops one entire wheel in half and puts it on my plate. I have zero idea at this time what the cheese goes on. Charles is laughing to himself. I try to be nonchalant about it, sipping water and waiting for her to return. (They don't get waiting on other people to get food before eating here, apparently.) Finally she starts smearing bread with cheese and comprehension dawns. I make it through, stuffed to the brim with healthy food and cheese. Surely lunch is done now? FALSE. She brings out a fruit salad made of apples, bananas, kiwi, and some other weird fruit. I decline. I can't take it anymore. No more food will fit in my belly. She assumes something is wrong and begins to offer me coffee and tea. (I would knife someone for a coke right now.) I continue to decline. Eventually she lets it drop, although I'm fairly certain I offended her.

Anyways, I'm getting tired. There have been many other adventures but later.
Important Notes:
1- Seen naked people already. No one seems to care.
2- There was a guy in a turtle neck eating a pastry. True stereotypes.
3- I walk everywhere, and everywhere (including McDonald's) is closed on Sunday.
4- I got the only French family that doesn't drink a ton of wine.
5- Life is slow here.

Salut!